The 'L' Word...

Ok, so it has been a little while since I have blogged. But, I've been working on this off and on the last couple weeks so I figured I'd post it. Plus, it is one of my 2015 goals to write more. so, I look at this as getting a head start.

This post may seem more like a rant, take it as you may. But, I hope this comes across the right way; as a youth pastor who is paying attention to what is going on in the culture he is surrounded by. 

We have to be aware and proactive in what is happening in teen culture. 

The topic of this post is "The 'L' Word. LOVE. It doesn't matter what social media I am on or what school I am at I see and hear it every where! 

"I love you!" 

Now, before you call me a hypocrite and say I have forgotten my teenage years, hear me out. 

There is no doubt that as a teen I didn't always choose my words wisely. I said some things that were mean, I used words to get my way, I could guilt people, I could manipulate, I even knew what to say to get out of detention. But, one thing I was always cautious and careful to hold close to my heart was the 'L' word. 

Seriously, I can remember being 22 years old and waiting 6 months before I told my (now wife) that I loved her. Even, when I said it, it was something that scared me to death! Not because I didn't mean it, but because of the depth and reality of the words I was speaking to someone I cared about. To someone's daughter, to a child of God. 

Disclaimer: 

* I am not saying there is anything wrong with teens being in love * 

But, as a youth pastor I get on Instagram, FB or Twitter and at least once a week and I see a teen guy telling a girl that he has just started dating "I Love You." Now, I would never want to descredit anyone's feelings, but seriously? You love her? It's been a week... 

Usually I will ignore this, or be a good youth pastor and joke with said teen guy in passing. But, the more I see this trend, the more I want to scream; "Shut up boy! You don't love her! You just told me 5 minutes ago you love Xbox & Red Bull, now you're saying you love her? You didn't know her 2 days ago!" 

Our culture has dumbed down the word Love. For too many it has lost it's significance. It has become common language, something we just say in passing. We put our love for Chick-Fil-A and the person we're dating on the same level. I'm not so sure it should be this way....

Here are 3 reasons this trend drives me crazy: 

1.) You don't mean it. 

     - It is ok for teens to like each other. But, don't confuse like or worse (lust) as love. Once you say something you can't take it back. (Try putting your toothpaste back in the tube) 

2.) Even if you do mean it... 

     - Even if you do truly love this girl (whose middle name you don't even know) what is wrong             with waiting weeks or even months to tell her?! 

          - If it's a security issue you shouldn't be telling anyone but your momma you love her. 

          - If your worried you'll lose her, that's not the way to keep her. (See your past 12 relationships) 

          - Besides, if you really do love her she'll know. BY YOUR ACTIONS. (Anyone can say I love you) 

          - When the time to say it is right you'll know. 

3.) Do you really understand what love is? 

     - There are SO many scriptures we could talk about. We could discuss the 3 types of love: Philia, Agape, and Eros. But, when these teens are saying they "love" they mean, Eros (Romantic love). For sake of length and just for the sake of getting to the point I've picked one. 

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her." Ephesians 5:25

To be honest this is a scary scripture! Because as a husband there are days that I fall so short of this verse that it is disgusting. But, the love talked about in this verse is the same type of love guys in our culture are telling their girlfriends of 1 week. Unless you are ready to truly love this young lady like Jesus does the Church (or at least try your hardest). If not, STOP! Stop with empty words and promises. There is enough of that in our world already.

We have to make sure our students understand the weight of their words. We have to make sure they grasp the fullness of scripture. We have a responsibility to make sure they are growing and becoming men of God. We have a task of making sure they are treating and talking to women in a way that is honoring God.

As a youth pastor I want so much more for the male teens of this generation! 

Some of you may laugh and just say, "Ah, well boys will be boys." But, I'm sick of that. At some point they have to become young men, then men. If we don't teach them now, they will never be men. They will just be boys who shave, living in your basement till their 40. 

"I Love You."

With those 3 little words comes so much responsibility. So say what you mean and mean what you say. Let's quit playing games. Life is bigger than Instagram. Let's raise up a generation of God fearing  young men who are secure in their relationship with Jesus. 

This do this together young men! 

Shine On, 

Chase Allen